yes, that is a chris coleman lyric for that heading 
it has been a long time since i’ve written in my good ol’ wordpress journal. i couldn’t even begin to put anyone who reads this, up to speed on everything that’s been going on lately.
so i’ll start with today. or tonight, rather. tonight… i got the privilege of acting out my big sister duties. one of my little sisters, isabella, is turning 6 in a week. she had her birthday party tonight and 8 of her sweet little girlfriends came over for a princess birthday party and a sleepover. the night would not have been completed without a silly string fight, pizza, cake and icecream, presents, and then mani’s and pedi’s done by yours truly i can’t even begin to describe the joy that i felt tonight. it brought so much delight and so much pleasure to my heart to be able to be the “big sister.” she was so proud to have me there… and would tell everyone that i was her sister. but, the most important part of the evening was this: i got to serve my 6 year old sister and her friends. i helped my mom prepare the cake and ice cream, sat beside her as she opened presents and put all her gifts away, cleaned up the wrapping paper and made sure she saved all the cards, laughed and sprayed silly string and did cartwheels in the grass (eventhough i am allergic)… and then did 8 mani/pedi’s until my back hurt. and i LOVED it. i absolutely loved it. and i’d do it again in a heartbeat. i miss being that young… being so easily entertained and innocent. little girls are one of the most precious gifts in the world… i’m convinced of that much at least. also convinced that i LOVE being a big sister.
other than that… i am moving back to my parent’s house this weekend. my precious roommate, tiffany, is in the midst of planning her wedding to her wonderful fiancee and they’re trying to start their life together… so therefore, i am heading home for the summer. but i am super excited to live with my sweet friends and sorority sisters, claire and katie, in the fall. we’re apartment hunting while claire is in europe until june. looking for places to live always stresses me out because i love every place that we visit. so… fingers crossed that we will find something and SOON. and i am officially a SENIOR in college. i started my senior year this may taking my 1st maymester/summer class in my college career. and it is a pain in the BUTT. i am SO SO SO ready for it to be over. monday is my last day of class and then tuesday is my final. then DONE. such a good feeling.
the world is speeding up all around me… and i feel like i am just still in the same place. summer always brings significant change, though. i’m ready for it. but if i expect change, i have to allow change. and i don’t usually allow it to happen in my life. so that’s my barrier to break down this summer. i’m tired of the same old routine. my life is lacking direction… and for someone who plans like i do, no direction is NOT a good thing. all the things i wanted to do… i don’t anymore. the dreams i had… i kind of lost sight of them. so i’m trying to gain some insight and think introspectively. i’ve gotta grab a hold of the reigns on my life before it gets too far out of my control.
my mind/heart/body/spirit… all exhausted and worn down. in the last couple weeks… my grandmother died, my best friend moved to south africa for the summer, some parents of close friends have passed away, and things are just out of control lately. not that they always aren’t. but i’m worn out.
i’m gonna try to update as much as possible, but i forget. love you guys.
little, you are such a good writer. i love reading your posts! love you so much.